The burden to create an appearance that will receive approval and hopefully cheers from those who see us is exhausting.
What do WE see in us?
I thought about the Preacher in Ecclesiastes and what he said about...nearly everything. Vanity. "Can't get no satisfaction". "Still can't find what I'm looking for". That is what I see in me. There is an ongoing internal restlessness.
Now I am familiar with the popular preaching about that hole in us that only God can fill and when we let Him in we will find rest. This places a lot of confidence and weight upon our decision making powers. Furthermore God is a whole lot bigger than that hole in our what, soul? I mean do we think we are in control of everything in us but that place?
I do think that there is a kind of rest for those in Christ and a measure of peace to boot; however when I look at me I have to say, "not that I have already attained". Mastery of the internal conflicts with my feelings, thoughts and what I think I'm supposed to do are beyond my grasp.
So what do I see in me? Someone whose only hope is in Christ. A hope to which I turn again and again.
At the bottom of all my internal stuff is an old nature that I am powerless to finish off. But the One who said, "Come unto me..." also pronounced forgiveness..."neither do I condemn you". Only in Him do I find rest.
the eclectic pebble
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